Do you have a company you are worried might be in danger of becoming too glamorous? Are you constantly having to compliment employees to encourage them and keep them motivated? Are you worried that the whole innovation thing is getting out of hand?
If so, check out our new website, the Roach Mode Academy, and learn how to make it through these hard times of struggle without having to worry about VC funding!
At Roach Mode Academy, we’ll teach you all about the three simple rules of building a robust business – going cheap, resisting innovation, and combating employee morale.
We are pleased to present Mr. Gowen Geddit, co-founder of the Roach Mode Academy (along with Xenios, co-founder and CEO of PPH), who has graciously agreed to answer a few questions for us about the Academy and what it can do for people.
Mr. Geddit, thank you for being with us today. First of all, I have to say Roach Mode Academy is a very…interesting name. Could you explain a little about it and what the academy does?
It is a somewhat odd name, isn’t it? After all, roaches don’t exactly have the best reputation among people, do they? They’re seen as dirty creatures, right? So who would willingly use it in their name? We would. In the world of startup businesses, roaches are actually a good thing, believe it or not. More so than unicorns, which I know sounds really hard to believe. I mean, who wouldn’t love a unicorn?
It really is hard to believe that roaches would be seen as better than unicorns. How is that so?
You can hunt for a unicorn for a thousand days and most likely all you’ll find is a pony with an ice-cream cone on its head. The cockroach is small, almost indestructible, and in business terms relies on very little income. Anytime there’s a hole in your skirting board or you leave some takeout food overnight you won’t be overrun by Unicorns, you’ll be overrun by cockroaches. At the Academy, our “cockroach experts” will teach businesses how to think like that thick-skinned, scuttling little evolutionary success story and help them learn how to make something from nothing, or rather something into a bit more something – without getting squashed in the process. After all, when civilisation ends, it’s going to be cockroaches and not unicorns inheriting the earth.
That certainly sounds intriguing. So, Mr. Geddit, can you tell us something else about the Academy? Like, for instance, what does your company do to meet the demands of a burgeoning generation of office workers who want a more flexible work-life balance?
Yes, that does seem to be a growing trend among businesses, doesn’t it? And we have received numerous requests from employees asking for more freedom and flexible hours at work. We want to be as accommodating as possible with our employees, so we have agreed to let them have a “business casual day” during the week and to have the option to work over weekends or over lunch breaks.
You are the co-founder of the Roach Mode Academy. How did you and Xenios come to create the academy?
We realised the value of Cockroach businesses over the Unicorn model. We saw that lot of “Cockroach” businesses are able to get going with very little support by using the strategies we teach at the academy because, let’s face it, Unicorns are great at looking fabulous, finding their way all too easily into investor pockets with a dissembling rainbow-bespattered pitch, luring them into believing all that glitters is gold, including unicorn poop, but in a lot of cases they get VC before they actually know what they’re doing.
At a casual glance a Cockroach business may appear small and ugly compared to the limelight-grabbing Unicorns, but they serve a purpose, and serving a purpose is a better business model than having a cool logo, or installing a hot tub in the staff room. The Cockroach is built for survival and thrives where others perish (or gallop off into a magic waterfall). So when the fairy dust settles and it’s time to knuckle down and make things happen, more and more of these mythical creatures are turning to the humble Cockroach for answers.
That is what we learned and felt needed to be shared with others. So we got together and started the Roach Mode Academy.
(Looking at watch) Well, I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for today. Thank you, Mr. Geddit, for this enlightening interview. I must say, I don’t think I’ll look at a cockroach the same way again!
What are your thoughts on the Roach Mode Academy? We’d love to hear your opinions in our comments box below!
*Please note* – This was an April Fool’s Day campaign!